Some thoughts on “Home”

We’re parked in Stony Plain until Friday.  Long enough to rest and relax and hopefully get some “admin” type things done. We also need to figure out our route for the next leg of our journey. This should be a good spot to do that.  It's close to a major commercial center, friends (who have tools!), and familiar enough that we know where to find what we need. The campground has many longer term stays and so is pretty quiet.  Their showers are hot, clean and free, which makes me very happy. J Bob has always bugged me about my long showers, saying I take Forever! Ten minutes is not forever!!!  But, it was a consideration that I’d have to give those up when we moved into the trailer.  It’s nice to find that’s not totally true. And it makes for feeling more at home.

This brings me to an ongoing family discussion from since well before we moved out of our house. What is home?  Is home a physical place that doesn't move (your address; your house – which technically we don’t have anymore)? Is home where all your stuff is (regardless of if you’re there or not)? Is it where you are? Or is it something else entirely?

I feel that home is wherever we (and the stuff we have with us) are. Every time we have traveled (albeit we have never gone very far away) I find myself saying “Time to go home” and I mean to wherever we are setup at that moment.  It could have been a hotel room, the grandparents, someone’s house, or in our own trailer (or tent trailer before we bought this monster). 

Bob says he’s moved enough in his life that he’s home wherever he is.  In his words “Maybe that means I’m adrift. But with the internet and cell phones nowadays people can get a hold of me wherever I am”. 

So Bob and I view it relatively the same way. The trailer is now home because that’s where we and our stuff are. That’s not to say the change isn't a bit uncomfortable at the moment (and that we don’t squabble as we figure out our way into this new life), but we know it’s a work in progress. 

The kids are having a harder time making the adjustment. Lily feels that home is a physical place. Home to her has always been an address, and there has only been one. We moved out of our house in Airdrie almost three weeks ago and I’m pretty sure she’s missing that stability. In those three weeks she has been to 3 different campgrounds and in front of my parent’s house. Today she said “This isn't our home. This is our trailer. Homes don’t move. If we stayed in this campground and our trailer didn't move, then it would be home.” 

Morgan has been telling everyone he meets that we now live in the trailer and are traveling around North America, but I've noticed that he has shifted his story from “We’re going to travel for a long time” to “We’ll move into another house soon”. I haven’t actually asked him directly about what “home” means to him since we moved, but will have to soon. He’s gone to bed for the night, so will ask him in the morning.  edit: I asked him and in his words "Home is shelter and family and happiness".  I asked if the trailer is home and he said "It will be."

Both are acting out more, misbehaving, and giving “attitude”. I know it’s in part due to the changes that have occurred in their lives. There have been several days this past week that I have wanted to have a monumental tantrum worthy of any three year old, complete with stomping my feet, throwing things around and screaming and yelling and pouting. So, how can I blame my kids for the same?

Sure, it all sounds so simple on paper, before it all actually happens. Reality is a bit different - we've just upended our whole lives and given them a good shake! In the frenzy of preparation, there isn't really time to think about after.  But now that we’re here (and still in transition,) right now, nothing feels “normal”. We’re all realizing that it’s going to take a lot longer than a few weeks for everything to settle again and find our new groove. Until it does we’ll just have to muddle through as best we can.  And figure out how make the trailer become “home” for all of us.