Different but the same

We've been traveling for two months now, out of our house in Airdrie for a bit longer than that, and I've been reflecting on how life has changed and how it is still exactly the same. 

Before we started traveling, I had this idea that by switching up life and going traveling full time I could walk away from all the things I didn't like about my (and my family’s) life. Looking back, I’m not sure why I thought that everything would change when we moved out of the house, that we could leave behind anything negative or that we could swap out one life style for another easy as that. Really, that was a naïve and unrealistic expectation. 

Two months of traveling has given me some perspective and time to truly (start to) settle in and begin to see life more clearly - understand what is changeable, what isn't and what facets I’d really like to work on shifting into a new normal (cause “everything!” just ain't gonna – and probably shouldn't - happen). 

There are many differences to our life now –some obvious and some subtle. We live in a much smaller home (and it really has become home) and spend way more time in the vehicle than ever before.  This puts us into much closer contact all the time, but in reality we spent most of our time in the house together within just a few rooms. We are learning to navigate in unfamiliar places and how to quickly assess an area to find the businesses/ information we need. We are learning how to homeschool (which is totally unfamiliar to us all, and worthy of entire posts of its own). We have learned to be flexible in how we live day to day. Sometimes we have hookups (power/water), some days we don’t, and we run off our batteries (12V power only) and water tanks. We have new vocabulary (like “hookups”, “overnight”, and “black water”, to name a few). “Weekday” & “weekend” really don’t mean much anymore (although with school back in we are tending to follow a Mon-Fri school week). While we still don’t have a firm routine as we bounce between travel days and rest days, there’s a certain flow to our travel days that is quite unlike anything we experienced in our stationary home.  

While there are many changes, many things are also the same. My house needs cleaning, groceries need to be purchased, meals need to be cooked and laundry needs to be done. All the usual household tasks are still here, relationships are still the same, conflicts are still the same (sibling rivalry!), personalities are certainly the same, and ingrained patterns haven’t disappeared.  

Some of it is frustrating (the electronics dance hasn't changed –needing the Wii / iPod/ tablet/ phone/ computer all. the. time), some of it is silly (like my desire to check for phone messages the moment I walk into the trailer – yeah, I checked the phone for messages every day when I walked in the house for many years), some of it is lonely (there aren't as many opportunities to connect with people when you’re constantly shifting locations), and some of it is comforting (having familiar tasks and distractions available when the view outside the window is different – sometimes drastically from one day to the next).

I’m not sure if I’m disappointed in how things have panned out so far, or not. The things that frustrate me the most (the electronics; Morgan’s volatility & impulsiveness; Lily’s strong willed and stubborn personality; the lack of a united front or team (Bob & I); and the recurring feeling that this is all just futile!) are still all there. And yet, I can see some of those changes I had hoped for hiding just beyond the horizon – perhaps subtler than I originally envisioned, or maybe just needing more time to come to fruition.

Or perhaps it’s just me that’s changing. Perhaps it’s me that needs to change and learn that while the changes that have happened and are happening aren't necessarily the ones I originally envisioned, they are the ones that need to happen.

I dunno. But at the moment, that’s okay with me.